I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
