I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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