i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
