Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
