took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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