yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
