I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
