I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
