shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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