some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
