Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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