Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize