no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
