Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
