I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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