You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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