I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
