No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
