I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
