I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
