Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
