Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
