how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
