I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Randomize
