I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my shit smells like andre
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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