He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
