the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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