the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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