I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
