I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
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I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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