this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
