Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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