And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
