I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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