I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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