The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
