just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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