Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
