booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wear drunk well.
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