thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize