hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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