I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm gonna have a badass scar
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
