i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
