You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
