garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
