miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize