That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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