So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
