you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
