If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize