maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize