apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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