none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?