If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.