he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
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its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life