thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.