boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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