when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
