Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
