I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
