did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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