i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
