she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
